All the Things You Are

Happy!

Exams almost over, and my film was definitely a success. Maybe not deep or symbolic, but just the way I like it -- funny and straight-up. I'm no good at thinking abstractly and once I get my film online, you'll see what I mean. The topic was "mihimihi" which is a Māori introduction, generally including things like a person's heritage and where they come from. Sometimes I wish I could make really "original" artsy art, but I make what I make and there will be those who appreciate it for what it is, and I'm glad.

I'm sad I'm missing out on the new LA craze -- food trucks. I love how LA has food crazes. I love LA, basically.

I love NZ, too, though. I've been experiencing more of it lately as I've been staying at farms and driving up to Tauranga for long weekends. Chasing cows/sheep on a quad-bike has easily been one of the highlights of my life. Dream come true, for sure. Also, visiting Jess in Tokoroa on the way down from Tauranga and trying to touch the dairy cows was extremely fun. Exams are weirdly formal and pretty much the whole grade is based on this one exam. I miss midterms and final projects that helped save your grade from bombing exams!

In terms of analysis of kiwi culture, I've been reading a lot of things about the fact that the world is becoming homogenized and a singular, american-like culture... and this seriously worried me before I came here because it wouldn't really be like leaving America. But, I'm seriously finding that there are still core differences in culture and habits. Even though the media is the same and certain preferences for food (like McDonald's) are the same... The fact is, the way this media and food is taken in is completely different from how Americans take it in. I can't exactly say (having not actually talked to anyone about it) how said media/foods are interpreted, but I can imagine it's something to do with the fact that American television/movies/music are often about a place kiwis can't identify with. So I suppose it can't exactly mean the same things as it does to people from the areas in the movies/songs.

Anyway, the point of that was that I'm glad I'm experiencing a culture different from my own. Though there are a lot of similarities, it's nice to find the differences too. Like meat pies!

And following that note, it was SO weird to hear the song 'California girls' by Katie Perry because... Why would they play that in NZ? I just don't understand how certain songs like that, which are clearly particular towards a specific American location, can succeed in a country like NZ... It made me proud to be a CA girl, but to hear it here was just weird. Especially since practically no one here can relate to it! The media shouldn't be promoting foreign pride, it should be playing songs like 'TARANAKI GIRLS' ... hahahaha you know, or something along those lines. But that's a whole other discussion about American domination in things like media (and even though it's not creating a homogenous culture, it's certainly pissing me off).

Lost Coastlines

"How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand, there is no going back."

I have been thinking about this quote a lot lately and it seems to ring true. A little dramatic, maybe, but still. Whatever, going home is quite a way off so won't think about it now.

To finally update you on everything that has happened since April 7, I went to Tonga, had a weekend getaway to Taupo with the Loungies, and owned at uni.

The trip to Tonga was a non-stop adventure. From the night Zach and I checked into the hostel with an enormous kiwi bird attached to the roof of the building to the 11 hour long bus ride back to Palmy, it was the epitome of adventure. So, Zach and I check into the hostel near the airport (since we have an early flight and don't want to muck around with buses) and decide to walk around this middle-of-nowhere city in the middle of the night. We get some Mango Lassi and Naan at a randomly open Indian restaurant. Go back to the hostel where weird bathroom noises are abundant and pure, utter strangeness is everywhere. PS. the first time I walked into my dorm, there were two french girls in bed with their lacey underwear all over the floor. Definitely interesting.

We get to the airport at 5am, check in and watch the sunset from a window while waiting for a gate to appear for our flight on the notification board. Unfortunately, 2 minutes before boarding time, no gate shows up. But, there is another flight to Tonga at exactly the same time and that flight has a boarding gate, so we figure it's the same flight and we head to that gate. Once we get there, we see our flight has a gate, and it's on the completely other side of the airport. We walk back, about 15 minutes after initial boarding time ... and they haven't started boarding. Typical New Zealand.

Land in BEAUTIFUL Tonga to wonderful, warm humidity and clear, blue skies. The airport is about 5 minutes long and we have to be driven to the domestic airport, which was a decent drive away. The domestic airport was about 2 minutes long and we get there to find out our flight to the smaller island of Ha'apai has been cancelled because the only plane they have is broken. Zach and I settle for having to stay on the main island for a night and excitedly wait for a shuttle to pick us up, when the woman behind the desk comes out to us to tell us 'we found a 6 person plane and since I'm special, I get to pick who goes on it.. and I'm picking you two!' So, we get on a 6 seater plane and fly to Ha'apai! Scary? definitely. Awesome? No doubt about it. Zach says it was because I'm brown she liked us, but whatever it was, we were glad.

Land in Ha'apai to an airport that is half a minute long. We try to get a hold of our transportation guy, but he thinks we aren't coming anymore because our flight was cancelled and was off diving. The airport workers were leaving since our flight was the last, and they decide to just give us a ride on the back of their truck to where our guy was. We wait outside his office for about 5 minutes until he shows up and tells us to go to the local grocery store to get some food to munch on when we get to the (even smaller) island of Uoleva. The grocery store has close to no actual groceries in it, except for instant noodles, crackers, and corned beef.

We take a speed boat to Uoleva and our 'guide' lets us get off over a coral reef to snorkel for half an hour. We arrive on the island greeted by a one-armed man who owned the 'resort.' He wasn't expecting us, so there was no dinner, but we were quite happy with having a bonfire built on the beach and hearing stories in broken English from the one-armed man. We watched distant lightning storms dance on far waters and gazed at the endless starry sky above us. It was the most beautiful night.

The next four days consisted mainly of laying on the beach, swimming in the warm waters, laying in the hammock, eating green coconuts, and eating fresh fish/lobster for dinner. The woman who cooked for us was the daughter of the one-armed man and she had some fantastic stories to share as well. One day I decided to walk around the whole island, which was probably a mistake, but fun nonetheless. I found crabs and wild cows and a random rain storm. It was an extremely difficult walk and I was really hungry, but getting back to fish and lobster dinner made it well worth it. On the last night, however, Zach and I were staying up just talking, and it was pitch black because it was really cloudy. We were sitting under our porch and suddenly

When we went back to the main island, we waited in an empty airport from 6pm till 3am. We watched movies on my laptop and a woman who worked there (the only one at the time) brought us cardboard boxes to sleep on. Oh, Tonga. We finally got on our flight and made it back to Auckland where we had a hard time figuring out how to catch our Naked Bus back to Palmy. We had to catch a local bus to the Manukau City (Manukau City=South Auckland=Compton, apparently) and we waited again for the bus to come at 8:15am. The bus didn't get there till about 8:30, however, after we had more than convinced ourselves we were stranded in Auckland.

The bus was horrendously long, but as it turns out, my friend Marcus was on the same bus and we found this out in Rotorua where we spent the rest of the bus ride sharing lollies and stories of whatever. Made it back to Palmy alive.

The trip to Taupo was equally as nice.

I suppose this trip requires an introduction to the loves of my life - Emma, Mike, (big) Jess, (little) Jess, and Nick.

Emma is the most upfront, sweetest, mom-like bitch in the world. She's got the fiercest look, the most photogenic face ever, and the things she says are as random as they are perfect.

Mike is my sassy gay friend. He stays up with me at night watching television shows on my laptop and we always, always have a good laugh. Not to mention, he's hot hot HOT.

Big Jess and Nick are lumped into one as they are THE couple. People talk about those couples that are perfect, but you never really see them... Nick and Jess are that couple. They've got true love and it's the kind that makes everyone else happy around them. Nick is a loyal, hilarious friend and Jess has a heart of fuckin' gold.

Little Jess is basically my girlfriend and I love her. She's innocent and bitchy at the same time, which makes hanging out with her awesome.

It started with a drive in a rented Air Force van to Taupo mostly in the night time. We got to Emma's bach and just lounged around, but got there kinda late in the evening so we went to bed soon after. The next day involved some more lounging, making pancakes on the most un-non-stick cooking devices ever, taking model photos and overall laugh-inducing activities. It was little Jess's birthday that day so the two Jesses, Nick and I went to Taupo's geothermal baths while Mike and Emma stayed at the bach to cook us dinner. The thermal baths were FANTASTIC, but full of creepy old men meandering in the waters like crocodiles on the hunt. In hopes of warding them off, little Jess and I started discussing our recent "sex change surgery" in hopes of convincing them they were actually checking out ex-men.

We went back to the bach to find the most amazing dinner prepared for us. It was a beautiful evening following a beautiful day and there was nothing more we could ask for. The night followed when little Jess's friends from high school came over to party with us in celebration. Little Jess and her friend Shaunnie, however, got drunk much too quick and the night ended early for them. The rest of us sat around finding forms of entertainment in burning cards, exchanging jokes and stories, and eating Jess's chocolate muffins given to her from her mother.

The next morning was perhaps most interesting for me as it was Anzac day, similar to the American Veterans day or Memorial day. Since New Zealand is so much smaller, the holiday is a much more celebrated event where those in the service gather at around 5.30 in the morning and march through town to a ceremony where they bring on the dawn with a speech and service about something to do with the Kiwis who served in WWI and WWII. It was bizarre for me to wake up (after 2 hours of sleep) and gather with a large group of military people as well as family members of said military people and possibly other randoms. We marched alongside Nick (who is in the Air Force) and somehow sat through the bizarre service held at Taupo's town center. The march was led by a bagpipe band, which I think says it all.

The rest of the day involved absolutely nothing except lounging around watching trashy American television. We drove home in the late afternoon and discovered the most amazing sunset that reflected beautifully on Lake Taupo. The drive back was full of singing along to old 90s music as well as Disney movies.

Definitely one of the best trips I've had in my life, and I can't wait to see what other experiences I have with these people I so dearly love!

Alive With the Glory of Love

How do I get up and leave here in 8 months time?

How do I go home and start where I left off?

As Frodo so eloquently put it, 'How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back?'

I'm obviously exaggerating but to a certain extent I believe it. I feel like this New Zealand experience is completely different from most university students who up and go to another country. They usually already live in dorms and have moved out of home to go to University. I, on the other hand, had never left home before, never been away from the comfort of my mother's cooking for more than 2 weeks. And suddenly, at the age of 20, I transplanted my life from home to a country halfway around the world. I started everything over! This feels like a new life that I started all on my own, and after a year it'll really start to feel like my own. Now, how do I just leave that behind?

I guess I really gotta start loving where I am and what I'm doing. I mean, I'm already loving everything that's happening. I've been homesick, but soon this will be home.

I've made some truly fantastic friends, whom I am extremely grateful for having had the privilege of meeting. You all know who you are and thank you for making my life here worth calling a life. Without you guys this would still be a vacation, a temporary existence before going home to the US. You've truly helped me to live here. (:

Everlong

The fact that I have no family, no life-long friends and no pancake mix in New Zealand is starting to hit me.

I'm missing my parents and have been dreaming of home. I'm extremely happy here but I keep thinking home is a drive away and I can get some Roscoe's chicken & waffles if I really wanted some. But, wait... no one here knows what chicken and waffles is...

As long as I'm busy I don't think about it. But, I'm not busy tonight. I should be.

But I can't focus on anything besides how far away I am and how little I have here. I'm starting a life from scratch, or from fragments of an old life. My expectations are constantly being changed and exceeded and let down.

'Can't I just sleep in my own bed for one night?'

My own bed. Where is my own bed? Thousands of miles away?

Is this bed here my own? Is it a bed to build a life around?

This all sounds rather silly as I type it out, but really... I guess it is rather silly. Just homesick, I guess. This is definitely typical behavior and I can't think of any other way to deal with it.

I've gotten so used to certain people and their way of being, and I get here it's like getting used to a whole new life. Well, it is a whole new life...

I'm not even making sense anymore.

Good-night.

tangled up in blue

With sand between my toes, basking in the familiar warmth of a west coast sunset at an unfamiliar beach, home didn't feel so far.

I've gone to more beaches here in New Zealand than I have at home (that might be a lie.). The oceans are calmer and warmer. Less "maintained" and more rugged, black sand, driftwood beaches. They go on forever and are often void of people. My kind of beaches.

So far everything here has been good. better than good, even. FANTASTIC.

My housing is set up in one giant house and four blocks (blocks holding roughly 9 people each) and my block is full of really, really great people.

shoes are overrated here. Barefoot is the best option for most as they wander class to class, across a car park, or into a supermarket. I think this is one of the most fantastic things because it is the perfectly subtle way of showing how lax kiwis are. Following this, a lot of the people I've known here have little regard for things considered 'unhygienic' by Americans. Such as not washing fruits/vegetables, leaving things on dirty counters, not rinsing dishes when they have soap on them and just drying them directly, and I guess.. walking barefoot everywhere.

Classes have been requiring a lot of reading, but actual class time is nice because usually they're only an hour long and are usually with some pretty cool people. Lovin' my maori language class. I learned how to say Hello (Kia Ora) How are you? (Kei te pehea koe?) I'm good (Kei te pai) and I'm from Los Angeles (No Roa Angerea au). There's this thing called transliteration where you just make english names/words SOUND maori, since they have a different alphabet.. so Los Angeles = Roa Angerea.. but I kindof just made that up myself with my professor since there was no word for Los Angeles. I mean, I've learned other little phrases and tidbits but that's really all I remember off the top of my head... Plus, I've been going to kapa haka (...singing time?) on Mondays and Fridays and learning the chants and songs. I even learned one with moves (kinda like a hula). As well, making many maori friends (:

hmm.. Anything else? I've been getting used to things.. Slang, driving on the wrong side, meals... I still don't feel like I'm really in university, but I'm making an effort.. in between trips to the beach and laying in bed all day..

In Bloom

again with the posts...!

I have food and a pot and I've never felt so complete!

I can cook rice, which can be made with beans and then ketchup on top, salad on the side.. a perfect meal for me.

I have hot cross buns, which I thought was a childhood song based on a mythological object.

THEY EXIST. and are delicious.

I have soup and nutella and weet-bix.

I feel set for at least 2 weeks..

I think I am going to the beach tomorrow, as well as the gym.

I feel good.

Watched Valentine's Day, which was TERRIBAD! there was one moment where zach and I started laughing hysterically and no one else was.

[ having watched a movie based in LA, it was a strange sensation. Watching a film about home in a completely foreign country.. it almost felt like I was home again and I completely forgot all the students around me were kiwi (well, most). I really missed LA for the first time. ]

I've somewhat forgotten what the sun feels like as it's been overcast for sooo long.

I miss my puppy xena and my baby sunny.

I walked barefoot across a giant grass field in the rain chasing ducks today wearing only shorts and a t-shirt.