Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Everlong

The fact that I have no family, no life-long friends and no pancake mix in New Zealand is starting to hit me.
I'm missing my parents and have been dreaming of home. I'm extremely happy here but I keep thinking home is a drive away and I can get some Roscoe's chicken & waffles if I really wanted some. But, wait... no one here knows what chicken and waffles is...
As long as I'm busy I don't think about it. But, I'm not busy tonight. I should be.
But I can't focus on anything besides how far away I am and how little I have here. I'm starting a life from scratch, or from fragments of an old life. My expectations are constantly being changed and exceeded and let down.
'Can't I just sleep in my own bed for one night?'
My own bed. Where is my own bed? Thousands of miles away?
Is this bed here my own? Is it a bed to build a life around?
This all sounds rather silly as I type it out, but really... I guess it is rather silly. Just homesick, I guess. This is definitely typical behavior and I can't think of any other way to deal with it.
I've gotten so used to certain people and their way of being, and I get here it's like getting used to a whole new life. Well, it is a whole new life...
I'm not even making sense anymore.
Good-night.

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